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I was so embarrassed about being one of the great untouched that during my Freshman year, I made up a story about having gotten laid during Spring Break just to feel like I was one of the “normal” people.that much in hopes that I might hit that metaphorical home run.Your virginity hangs around your neck like an albatross. Like there’s a great fault within you that’s holding you back but that nobody else seems to have.What are you supposed to do about the fact that you’re one of the Great Untouched?We blame others for somehow depriving us of sex, as though it were something we were owed.We blame for whatever flaws make us perceive ourselves as unfuckable.The fear of being “outed” as a virgin becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.
They continue to get older, becoming even of titanic proportions that casts a shadow over everything they do and who they are. So let’s talk a little about the problems with the way we think about male virginity… Stories of blowjobs being traded as casually as handshakes in high-school, and the hang-wringing over college hook-up culture make the world sound like a never-ending bacchanal for those who are lucky enough to take part. Similarly, college isn’t the hotbed of casual sex that we think it is; students tend to regularly overestimate just how much their fellow classmates are hooking up rather drastically. The first is that we’ve been handed a shared narrative via pop-culture that directly affects how we our lives are supposed to be.We get the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative burned into our minds early on, reinforced over and over again by pop-culture until we start to believe it’s the TRVTH, carved into stone tablets delivered to us at the base of Mount Sinai.The story turns our sexual development into a performance, just as masculinity is often a performance.When you’re focused on your identity as Virgin with a capital V, it can feel like everybody else is at a party that you’ve been left out of, even as it’s going on all around you. Prom goes from just a dance to THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE, a night when you’re supposed to confess your love and slip away to lose your virginity.We get convinced that college is a nonstop whirlwind of parties and fucking thanks to the “Girls Gone Wild” videos, every college movie since and pearl-clutching moral panic pieces about “hook-up culture”.